Reprieve

Significance (30th july 2009)

Two weeks ago Harry Potter the movie was a big hoo-ha.
I didn’t catch it in the end and now I’m like, so what?
Such a joke, to think I wanted to be there for the midnight premiere.
Tonnes of things don’t matter anymore after a while, only Life does.
That’s the only thing that’s real.

In the Netherlands, it has been easy to find myself. Much quieter, leisurely pace combined with only one role I play – taking care of the household, I have ample time and room to myself. Time and Peace to discover the intricacies of the new environment, to learn about myself and reaffirm my priorities, who I am, what I want to do.

If I moved back now, the rush to be fast in everything and the filling up of timeslots will be welcomed. But with income it will bring a learning process again, for me to fight the distractions, to know and sift out what really matters and what not. An occasional indulgence in Insignificants will be delightful, but the pleasures last only so long.

What is real are Life and the things I want to do – read, write, dance, travel and sit at a cafe. That is not to say I will forgo shopping, although mass produce clothings do not stand out enough anymore. At the end of each visit to a chain store I find myself feeling like time was wasted and wondering what else is new. Maybe it means that I get tired of things easily. But I wish I could run home in seconds just to sit behind the keyboard and type, type, type again. That is what matters to me.

Reprieved in having found what I want to do and in feeling peaceful doing it without letting opinions dissuade me.